Still, I have often contemplated on having missed out on several years of my life. Years I could’ve learned what all the others did, years I could’ve understood them and the world better. Instead of being alone in my room, I could’ve been in the company of good friends, doing something we all liked doing together. And in the presence of these good friends, I could’ve grown more as a human being.

But no. Since humans were so clearly different from what I knew in myself, I didn’t want to be like them. I wanted to be other things. Like a dragon, or a unicorn. That was what I dreamed of growing up and becoming: a being of integrity, purity, and great ideals. Something I could not see in humans.

A misplaced child, hidden from the variety that is human nature. With my dragons and my dreams, I survived — no, I flourished. Imagination was my realm, seperate from reality.

As time passed, the very ideals I believed in made me certain that I shouldn’t keep on believing most in what is removed from the world. They also made me believe that the world of humans can contain things that might challenge even my love for this pure imagination. So a transition began.

Things have since changed. I have faced challenges, and hinders. Delving into the uncertainty of life can taint you, mislead you, and it can even kill you. Sometimes you want to give up, and believe that what you thought to be true, really wasn’t.

There are many ways to imagine the world. Cynicism is the lousiest of them all.

Now, I take a minute to look back. Where was I heading before, where am I heading now, and what is really the wisest? Some time ago, I wanted to become a dragon. Lately, I have tried becoming more human.

Do the two really conflict?

I used to think humans were limited and weak. Now, I have come to see what potential really lies in us. All we can see and feel is a part of us. If we feel great things, then great things can be in our life.

The way I see it, I have three choices. Either I can live with the happiness of imagination and the anguish of its lack in the physical world; or I can forget and suppress the imagination and try and see the physical world as more bright; or… I can see the imagination as my palette and the physical world as my canvas, transporting the inspiration of imagination, and letting magic into the mundane realm.

That is my dream. That, and the ability to fly, of course.

Why ever do we care, when all the castles we build, fall down eventually? Perhaps the point isn’t a happy ending, but a memorable adventure.

Life isn’t fair. Life hurts, stings, cripples. Life is a bitch and you can’t deny it. All our fights will be in vain, all effort will be erased, all will fall back to mercilessness. Cold logic is the way of it all, and cynicism is the way to accept it. There is no other option.

So goes the words of a dead man.

So what if resistance is futile? So what if there can never be a paradise on earth? So what if good things don’t last? At least they’re good while they do. It’s not the end result that matters, but what happened underway.

No, not all damsels in distress are saved by knights in shining armour. Kids die in accidents. People are murdered. It’ll always happen. It’s the way of the world, and it’s horrible!

But humanity resists! We make a difference. Many of us keep ideals and principles. We don’t live by experience and accept the world for what it is. We don’t go with the flow of the external world, but sustain the idea of a better one, and when given the power, we try to shift the external world towards that idea.

The world will always win. Whatever great feat you do, time will forget it. Fuck that! It is not the single feats, but the continuation of humanity, the continuation of the fight, that sustains it. The meaning. By fighting, by not accepting, by not growing cynical, you do not only do your part in creating a better world and making a difference from the wickedness of the world. You also gain a purpose.

Don’t do what others do because they do it. Think, and understand what ought to be different. Then practice that difference. If you manage to ignore your instinctive fear of being different, then congratulations, you’ve created something that’s you! Ignore those who don’t accept it, and gain friends in those who do. You just gained some real friends! Join them on adventures and save the world together. You just read the recipe for having a life.

Sometimes, if feels as if one’s attitude converges towards cynicism. There’s always someone able to thwart your hopes with due right. But what if there is a seperation between fact and feeling, and what if cynicism is just one of many emotional perspectives?

A large part of the world has gone blind. Cynical. Bitter. Cold and depressed. There are a whole lot of people who concider themselves to be “honest” or “truthful”, and all they know and tell is misery. All of the things that are wrong in the world – suffering, selfishness, abuse, brutality and corruption. I sense we’re in a pessimistic period where noone trusts their own governments. I wouldn’t say it’s bad to be critical, but it’s funny how we’re never happy with it and how we always see the bad sides of all actions taken by the controlling forces.
Many people have a perception of the world as a rotten apple, full of corruption and only negative sides.

It’s so strange that we never wonder WHY we think so. Why are we unhappy with the world? It’s because we imagine what would be better and we want it to be that way. Most humans on the face of this planet wants the world to be a better place. Doesn’t that mean, symbolically, that we have a core of goodness?

Regardless of what you feel about that, we still have these thoughts about better worlds. And even if we go that way or not with the actual world, aren’t the thoughts a good thing by themselves?
Think about the music you like best. It’s likely to have some sort of overworldly, wonderful atmosphere. Wouldn’t you call this music a positive feature in the world? Well, humans made it. The same goes for all stories, books, movies, tv-games, all philosophy and all thoughts, even all fantasy. I think many are forgetting about the humans behind all of it and the effort and feeling they put into it. There are so many humans in the world wanting goodness and making goodness. These people you don’t hear about frequently. But they don’t mind. They’re not seeking fame or power.

Media is all about bad things. Bad times and unexpected actions are often all that’s etched into history. Somehow it’s what people want to hear and see. Might be an instinct that makes us more alert of danger. Although this might come in handy, it’s utterly misguiding. In a world of this size, there are enough bad things to cover your whole area of vision every day of the year. I’d say the focus on the corruption is the real corruption, a mental corruption.

Yet, we know bad because we know good. If we only knew bad then we wouldn’t be so unhappy, because we wouldn’t know any better. Our discontent shows there must be a contrast in the world, there must be good. And everything that’s just the slight inch better than bad is man-made. You might say nature is good and not man-made, but tell me, is nature really that good if there’s no human there to say so? We humans have a really flexible mind. We come from a nature in which your own good is the only important issue, so where the heck did all these ideas of better worlds where everyone’s happy come from? Hard to say, but based on this I’d say we humans are the most good being on the face of this planet.

As I said, we have flexible minds. We have a broad spectrum of feelings. The discontent shows that the spectrum extends far into much better feelings that we have in the world today. And all the good we have created proves those feelings aren’t just a trial version, we can have them and use them like any other feeling.

The problem is achieving this. There are so many dimensions in the world – transitions that can be made from one state to another. But how do you move through these dimensions? Heck, what muscle do you use to move in the fourth space dimension? That is impossible, but emotional dimensions are different. You can open your mind and make it follow other habits, thoughts and feelings, but you can’t be taught how. You have to find the right muscle yourself. When you do, you might eventually realise how you’ve been standing still your whole life, maybe in a puddle, maybe at the edge of a cliff. Things you took as granted were impossible become accomplishable, you manage to see things a different way, outside the box.

I feel I have moved though several dimensions like this. My view on most things has changed, I am able to see every side of issues. I see this a a great achievement, but I also see it as unfair for those who are stuck in fixed dimensional positions, unhappy with the world, their life, or just about anything.

I don’t care much for the physical world. My position in it is not important to me – I don’t want wealth, fame or power. I want happiness, contentness and good feelings. That enables me to keep a distance from any corruption. The last thing I want is to make more of that. I won’t take advantage of others for my own good because I don’t need to do that to get what I want. I am free to choose how to take on the world. Although, I’ve already made that choice.
I will do what is in my power and ability to spread goodness. I want people to realize it’s there, and enable them to take their deserved part of it. I will not make anything big out of it, because it can’t be done that way, at least not by me. I will do my best to influence those around me and anyone in need.

Strangers are not really less than friends to me. I want to give everyone the same chance. If someone I don’t know asks for help, I will provide it if I can. I will try to answer any question and share my experience and thoughts wherever I feel they can help, given that my assistance is accepted.
However small my influence will be, anything is more than nothing and it does make a difference. Dragons or not, I see no reason to give up on this world.